Doctor's Report

Late yesterday afternoon, my surgeon called and gave me another mixed review. The wonderful news is that right now, these tumors are considered "pre-cancerous" and for that I am very grateful. (It is not the noncancerous diagnosis that I had hoped for, and in all honesty that has been a bit of an emotional hurdle for me.) The flip side is that they do not know how long they will stay in the gray zone, so they will continue to monitor me. He reiterated that surgical removal at this point was not a good choice, because as he put it, there was too great a risk for collateral damage. They are unsure of the exact nature of my tumors and the growth rate will help them to determine what we are dealing with. I have learned so much about this disease over the past few weeks and still feel like I know nothing. Pancreatic cancer is not like other cancers, there are many different types and they do not respond well to traditional treatments like chemo and radiation. This is one of the reasons that it is so deadly.

So, at this point, I rejoice for the good news of no current malignancy. And walk with the certainty of God's Grace in the face of uncertainty. He has reminded me of Paul's thorn in the flesh and I see that in a new light now. When Paul ask the Lord to take away his thorn, he wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So like a lamb with a crippled leg that does not stray far from the Shepherd, I move forward and rejoice in the privilege of serving a Mighty God.